bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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