We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
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walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
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You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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