I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize