I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize