I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
where does the pee come out of this thing
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shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
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me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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