i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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