I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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