I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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