so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize