Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize