Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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