the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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