i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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