I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
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it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
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if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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