he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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