I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You are a genius and a whore.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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