Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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