you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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