Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
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My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
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Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
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