I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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