wat bout pragnant strippers??
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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