the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize