This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
i've created a new STD.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize