What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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