I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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