he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize