I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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