Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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