i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
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