fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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