Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
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I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He did a backflip because drugs
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