my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Can I color on your dick again?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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