I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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