I cockslap morals
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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