so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize