There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
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I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
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I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Damn victory sex feels great
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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