i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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