Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize