True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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