I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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