Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize