Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
this just has baby written all over it
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
So many bounce houses so little time
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize