I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
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Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
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You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize