get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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