I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize