how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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