She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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