She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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