I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You can't motorboat a personality
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize