i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Duck Duck Cougar?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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