No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize