I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
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i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
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I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I have aggressive nipples.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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