do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
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I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
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6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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